Home Bar Etiquette On BYOB

When I invite guests to my home bar, should I supply all the drink and snacks? Or ask them to bring their own? Alternatively should I charge them to cover my costs? What is the home bar etiquette on BYOB?

Just in case you are unsure, BYOB means bring your own bottle, booze, beer or even beverage. Basically when you have a party most people will contribute by bringing a bottle of wine or spirits or a six pack of beer. It’s just the done thing, but what about your home bar?

But it is a question I have seen in forums and Facebook groups, so thought I would cover it as a topic and look at ways to keep a home bar stocked without all the expense landing at the owners feet.

Home Bar Etiquette

Etiquette basically means a customary code of polite behaviour, good manners or an unsaid rule. BYOB is exactly that, it is polite when you attend a party. It is good manners, and has become customary.

So, I think this crosses over to the home bar, without a word having to be said. If you invite friends or family over for drinks, more often than not, they will ask you what you want them to bring. The answer would be to bring what they like to drink.

Even if they don’t ask, you can bet your boots they will bring a bottle or six pack anyway. The same goes fro a BBQ or a dinner party, it is customary to take your own drink.

So I can’t see it being any different for a home bar. Any decent family member or friend will not expect you as a host to foot the bill for their night out. And if they do, then it maybe the only time they get to visit your home bar.

How To Manage The Home Bar Stock

As I said earlier it is expensive to stock a home bar. That is if you want a full set of spirits, mixers, a fridge full of beer and a good selection of wine.

What you consume yourself is not in question here, you replace what you drink. But the question is how you navigate what your quests consume.

So what are the common ways to enjoy your home bar with family and friends without you footing the whole bill.

Charge For Drinks

This is obviously a no no, you can’t charge your guests for drinks in your home bar. You would effectively be selling alcohol and you need a license for that.

I am pretty sure if you charge your guests for drinks they would not return a second time. But this was a suggestion by a few people on a forum, saying that it is what they do.

But it is not the answer.

Ask For Contributions

Another suggestion I saw a few times was to ask for contributions. Certainly a fair thing to do, and I am sure most people wouldn’t mind contributing to any drink of yours they consume.

But again it feels like you are charging for drinks, although a donation or contribution is voluntary I guess.

Put A Jar On The Bar

This is quite a popular one with many home bar owners. Like a tips jar in a real pub, guests can put in a few quid to help towards what they consume.

Some report of people being generous and adding £10 – £15 per visit. Others have said people just ignore their jar on the bar.

It is really the same a s asking for a contribution, just through the written word rather than the spoken word.

Put Up A Clear Notice

This is a very popular way of making the message clear for every guest. While you want people to feel comfortable and enjoy themselves. You can’t be expected to pay for all their drinks. So go for the in your face sign to make the point clear.

You can buy these signs in different designs, or have your own customs one made to suit your bar. It is a lighthearted way of saying BYOB.

Tell It How It Is

The most direct way of setting the ground rules from the start is to just tell your guests to bring their own booze.

Your family and friends are not going to be offended by this, or at least they shouldn’t be. It is the best and most direct way to make sure you are not footing the drinks bill for everyone that visits your home bar.

Play The Spirit Lottery

This one is a little fun, but only works with spirits, or any drink you have on an optic. It is a ‘Blind Optic Box‘. I think they are popular in the Military.

It is basically putting an optic with the bottle in a box, so no one can see how much is in the bottle. On the box it says:

So it is pot luck, any guest or even yourself who has a drink from that optic could be buying the next bottle.

Simple and fun.

A Home Bar Is Expensive

So it is a tricky subject to navigate because it is expensive not only to build and stock a home bar. But to maintain it too, and pay for electricity to run the coolers, lighting and heating.

I have seen some people say they charge their guests not only for the drink they consume, but for the upkeep of the bar and the electricity.

The thing to remember though is, you built the home bar and while it is expensive, your guests didn’t ask you to build it.

If you invite people to a barbecue, while you may expect them to adhere to the BYOB etiquette. You are not going to ask them to contribute to the charcoal or gas, or the barbecue itself.

So why would you expect them to contribute to the running and upkeep of your home bar.

Final Thoughts

My personal opinion is, if you invite family and friends to your home bar, they will not expect free drinks all night. They will always bring their own drink, yes you may make them the odd cocktail, or a couple of shots.

But the fact remains they are not going to take advantage of your generous nature.

I never expect free drinks when I am invited to friends or family, I always take my own drink.

If you have a friend or family member that seems to think they can come along empty handed and drink all your home bar stock.

The simple remedy is to never invite them again.

If you have any other ways of making sure your guests follow the home bar etiquette of BYOB. Then do share your thoughts below.